Do We Fear Failing Ourselves? You CAN Build Resilience Despite Uncertainty! | Nana Parry, Innovator

Nov 11

Written By Seven J

Why Do We Fear Not Reaching Our Potential?

The middle of the night. That's when it hits hardest, isn't it? That gnawing feeling that somehow, somewhere, you're falling short of who you could become. That mysterious "potential" everyone talks about but no one can quite define.

Nana Parry knows this feeling intimately. As co-founder of Cluso, a voice survey platform that's revolutionising how we capture human emotion, she's spent years understanding what drives us—and what holds us back. Her recent conversation on Lost and Searching revealed something profound: our fear of unreached potential might be both our greatest burden and our most powerful motivator.

The Weight of Childhood Expectations

"I fear not reaching my potential... it's probably linked to some childhood pressures, but at the same time, it's also driven me to achieve a lot of what I have achieved," Nana admits with characteristic honesty.

This resonates because it's so universally human. Those early messages about being "special" or having "so much potential" follow us like shadows. They create an internal pressure cooker where we're constantly measuring ourselves against an impossible standard—one that's often based on other people's definitions of success rather than our own.

But here's what's fascinating: Nana's transformed this anxiety into fuel. Rather than being paralysed by the fear of not being enough, she's channelled it into building something meaningful. Cluso didn't emerge from a place of confidence—it grew from the tension between fear and ambition.

Rethinking Resilience

Most people think resilience is about bouncing back from failure. Nana offers a different perspective: "Resilience isn't just about bouncing back - it's about building your capacity bucket so you can handle more before you even need to bounce back."

Think of it like fitness. You don't just want to recover quickly from injury—you want to build strength so you're less likely to get injured in the first place. This shift from reactive to proactive resilience changes everything.

When you focus on expanding your capacity, you're investing in:

Emotional bandwidth: Developing the mental space to handle stress without becoming overwhelmed
Skill diversity: Building multiple competencies so you're not dependent on one area of expertise
Relationship networks: Cultivating connections that provide support before you desperately need it
Financial buffers: Creating safety nets that give you freedom to take calculated risks

The Power of Internal Control

Perhaps the most transformative insight from Nana's journey involves shifting from external to internal locus of control. "Most people have an external locus of control - they're reactive to what happens to them. But when you develop an internal locus of control, you take ownership of your life."

This isn't about controlling everything—that's impossible and exhausting. It's about recognising what you can influence and taking responsibility for those areas whilst accepting what lies beyond your reach.

Stoicism played a crucial role in Nana's development of this mindset. By preparing mentally for worst-case scenarios, she found that when they didn't materialise, she felt more confident tackling new challenges. It's like emotional insurance—you hope you won't need it, but having it gives you courage to act.

The Voice Revolution

Nana's work with Cluso reflects her deeper understanding of human nature. "We send 7 billion voice notes on WhatsApp every day, but when it comes to research and surveys, we still use text-based methods that people hate filling out."

This observation isn't just about technology—it's about recognising how we naturally communicate emotion and nuance. Voice carries sarcasm, excitement, hesitation, and authenticity in ways text simply cannot. By bridging this gap, Cluso isn't just improving data collection; it's helping us understand each other better.

Questioning Your Narrative

The most powerful tool for overcoming the fear of unreached potential might be the simplest: questioning the stories we tell ourselves. "I think we need to question the narratives we tell ourselves about who we are, especially when they're based on childhood experiences," Nana suggests.

Those narratives—"I'm not good with numbers," "I'm too sensitive," "I don't have what it takes"—often become self-fulfilling prophecies. But they're just stories, not truths. And stories can be rewritten.

Moving Forward

The fear of not reaching our potential never fully disappears—and maybe that's not the goal. Instead, we can transform it from a paralysing anxiety into productive energy. We can build our capacity before we need resilience, take ownership of what we can control, and continuously question whether our self-imposed limitations are real or imagined.

Your potential isn't a fixed destination you might miss—it's an evolving journey you're already on. The question isn't whether you'll reach it, but whether you'll have the courage to keep growing into it.

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